Douchebag License Plates in the News!

April 10, 2009

Not us, but douchebag license plates generally. The Colorado Independent reports that the state of Colorado, in its infinite wisdom, has nixed the license plate ILVTOFU because it contains the letters “FU.” Read it again, my friends, and it takes on a whole new meaning. As it happens, the Colorado DMV has nixed a wide variety of letter combinations as potentially obscene. According to a spokesman, “Standard common practices are: any combination of letters or numbers that carry connotations offensive to good taste and decency, are misleading, offensive to the general public, or represent gang, drug, sex, racial terms.”

We believe douchebaggery is offensive to good taste and decency, but we doubt the state of Colorado is turning down license plates like “1BRUCE1”. (Huge amounts of bonus points for anyone who gets that reference.)

In fact, that article links to a nifty little online game that quizzes you on whether a plate would be acceptable to the Colorado DMV. (It’s hosted by the Rocky Mountain News — go there now before the site dies along with the — sniff — newspaper.) From this game, we have learned that HIT, BUN and GUT are no-nos — but GUN is perfectly okay. Methinks the presence of a large conservative population has influenced these decisions. Focus on your own families and leave mine alone, douchebags!

Finally, the agent who generously sent us all this also included a link to a page full of amusing personalized license plates collected by a sign printing company. Most of them are not douchebaggy, but the last one in particular gave us a chuckle — it helps to know that many police agencies use Ford Crown Victorias as cop cars.



April 9, 2009

…at the office? Wherever. If this is really bragging about donations to charity, somebody has missed the point.

Or, frighteningly, maybe this driver is trying to prove Ayn Rand’s “point” about charity being selfish? That would be double douchebaggery! (We believe we have made our feelings clear on Objectivism.)


April 8, 2009

We assume this means “insurance wizard.”
In addition to the ego inherent in this message, we question how awesome it really is to be an insurance wiz. Remember, anything times zero is still zero.